Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Dizziness of Freedom

The paperwork has begun for me to take a year off from the university, and so we are officially off and running. In truth, we have already begun preparing in earnest. Last time we went to Norway we rushed -- once we decided we'd go, we had less than 3 months to rent the farm and find homes for our animals. (Then Pam and the kids were in Norway while I slept on couchs and lived out of a my Beetle for three more months, carrying around a cage of cockatiels!) This time we can make sure we do it right.

We must put the house in excellent shape and so are we having work done on the barn, the studio, and in most rooms in the house. I've got a buddy coming over several times a week to work on things in the house. We compiled a big list of everything that needs to be fixed on the property, and we're getting it taken care of now. We've begun packing again -- what to bring, what to ship, what to store? What happens with out animals this time? Where will we live? Who will rent our house? How will we manage our final weeks, making all of the visits to family scattered around the country while taking care of the packing and shipping?

Furthermore, everything is now seen through this filter of the move. Today I renewed my drivers license, and rather than do so online I went into the office to get a new picture and signature on file, just in case. Then to the tire shop -- do I want a warranty on my new car tire? No point, really. All of those books in my office -- some will come with me but I've already started giving away others. My friend is coming today to do some drywall and painting -- more repairs that are being done to satisfy future renters rather than ourselves.

There's so much to do and so much uncertainty it makes me a bit queasy sometimes. I saw a billboard that said "Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom." I'm trying to think of it like that!

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